CHEAP 4TH JULY CELEBRATIONS
With the high price of fuel most families can’t afford to travel any farther than the end of the street, and high fire danger in most places causing a ban on all fireworks, what can one do for entertainment on the forthcoming forth? Well since nude sparkler events are out, here’s some another ways to get your guests hopping:
Serve watermelon to grandpa and sit back and see what happens. Researchers in Texas have discovered the citrulline in watermelon relaxes the blood vessels similar to the effects of Viagra. So chow down and let the fun begin.
Chip in on the gas and send someone to the store for beer. But not this woman. Police in Norwalk California say a 74-year old woman drove through the front window of a liquor store, climbed out of the wreckage and tried to buy a 6 pack of Bud. I think I speak for all of us when I say that if you have had so much to drink that you lose control of your car, you should be buying Bud Light.
Miss the fireworks? After a few rounds of drinks try discussing who should be the next president and don’t forget to throw in a few Obama and McCain jokes, and the women? They love Hillary jokes! That should get the fireworks going in any group.
ANGELINA JOLIE’S NETHER REGIONS UPDATE
For those of you waiting with bated breath (Try Certs) for more news on this exciting occurrence I have to tell you there are no new developments but watch this space. She spreads those lovely legs to pump out a couple of bairns, we’ll be there.
RITALIN HELPS RATS CONCENTRATE
If it works on a brain the size of a rats, think what it could do…oh look, shiny things
Until next time, DD
